A Duelist's Travels
by MonPetitLoupDeMort
Summary: Yami attempts to take a duel with Kaiba to the shadow realm. Doesn't quite get there. Come and visit to see where he ends up.
1. Lyoko Lunacy

Hi! Sorry I haven't done anything in so long. I went to Bever Cross camp for a week, and haven't had insomnia for severial nights since. ( My personal joke.When I can't sleep late at night, or early in the morning as it may be, I write. Thus, moresleep, less writing, and vice versa.) So I decided to type this up. Me and my friend did several combos kinda like this. I, personally, did this one, but if you people like it, then I can try to talk my friend into re-comboing these with me, and making some more. So, it's your choice. This can be a one-shot stand alone, or one of many. And one more note, the spellcheck on my new laptop is a bit buggy (What danged spellchecker cant retcognise the word dinner! And trys to get rid of every one of my quotation marks?) SoI had to make do with proofreading it about ten times. There might still be some errors, but I think it is readable.

Read and Enjoy!

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As Yami attempts to figure out how to use the powers of the millennium puzzle, he indulges in another duel with Kaiba. He decides to try to take the duel to the shadow realm.

"Well? Are we going somewhere? Let's get where we're going now. I want to crush you before dinner." Kaiba said, fidgeting impatiently.

"Ok, Ok. I'm trying. Get some patience." Yami complained.

"I'll get some patience when you get a normal hairstyle." Kaiba said, now fidgeting with a passion.

"Grumble. All push and no give. Here we go. Happy?" Yami replied, as silvery purple walls slid around them, like going down a tunnel. The walls slowly shifted to a greenish color, and started to make lots of turns. They both landed with an undignified thump on the ground.

"Hi." A stranger who had yellow hair with a purple spot in the middle said.

"This um this wouldn't, by any chance, the shadow realm, would it?" Yami asked, still clinging to some shred of hope.

"Uhh... nope. I don't think so." The stranger said.

"I told you that you should have let me drive." Kaiba grumbled.

"You couldn't have done any better." Yami said, warming to the prospect of having a argument with Kaiba. At least some things are still normal, he thought. The stranger decided to head off the argument with introductions, before things got out of hand.

"This place is Lyoko. I am Odd." Odd said.

"Yeah, we kind of figured you were." Kaiba stated bluntly, staring at Odd's hair and outfit.

"No, my name is Odd" insisted Odd.

"Really? If your name's so strange, why don't you tell us it." Yami asked politely.

"No, no, no. Me. My name is Odd. I am Odd." Odd practically pleaded. They both gave him polite 'you're crazy' looks. "I give up. Who are you two?" Odd conceded.

"I am Kaiba, duelist extrodanare, CEO of Kaiba corp., creator of the duel disk." Kaiba gloated, with a fancy twirl of his Anti-Gravity Coat ™.

"My name is Yami. I'm good at deuling and saving the world." Yami humbly stated.

"And making awful friendship speeches." Kaiba mumbled.

"I leave that job to Tea most of the time." Yami mumbled right back.

Aleata steped out of a nearby tower and looked at the newcomers.

"Hi. You must be new here. I'm Aileta, and I see that you've already met Odd." Aleata said in a friendly tone. Yugi was stareing at her and falling head over heels in love.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll back off. She's Jeremy's." Odd warned. Aileta flushed a brilliant shade of red at that. Back home, so did Jeremy, who was listening to the whole exchange.

"Man, how come all the good girls are taken?" Yugi whined. Suddenly Anzu appeared.

"Hey, am I not good enough for you?" Anzu yelled.

"No... he he... um... ah... it's just-" Yugi attemted to stammer.

"You get over here and take that back, right now!" Anzu demanded. She grabbed Yugi by the ear and started dragging him off.

"Ow! Owowowowowowowowowowowowow! Ow!" Yugi screeched, attempting to break free.

"I'm glad I don't have her for a girlfriend." Kaiba said with a snicker.

"Do you want me to come over there?" Anzu demanded.

"No! Nothing." Kaiba asured quickly, making Yugi snicker. But they didn't deny being boyfriend-girlfriend, Kaiba thought, so there is something going on there. He mentally laughed at them.

"Let's go home. I want to go home." Anzu insisted.

"Um... well, that's the thing. I don't know how to." Yugi mumbled.

"What? You mean we're stuck here?" Anzu started flipping out.

"Why don't you just do whatever demented thing you did to get us here, backwards." Kaiba sugested cooly, mentally berating the 'great strategest' for not thinking of that simple solution himself.

"Oh, yeah. That makes sense. Goodbye strange person. Goodbye Aileta." Yugi said, before him, Kaiba, and Anzu dissapeared in a puff of purple smoke. He had toyed with the idea of leaving Kaiba behind, but that wouldn't be being a good sport. Anyways, Mokuba would get mad, and him mad was not fun.

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They all landed in an undignified heap, back at Kaiba Corp. deuling arenas.

"Get off me!" Kaiba bellowed indignantly, from the bottom of the pile. Up to that point, Yugi and Anzu had been too buisy noticing each other, to notice that they had landed on Kaiba.

"Sooory, Mr. Grumpykins." Anzu replied mockingly, after her and Yugi had stood up. Yugi offered Kaiba a hand to help him get up, but Kaiba batted the hand away without so much as a thanks-but-no-thanks. Kaiba stormed off to his private office, severly annoyed that his deul had been interrupted. And I would have won that time, too, Kaiba thought. Danged magic. Danged Shadow Realm. Danged Yugi. Danged friendship-loving, speech-giving friend of his. Ghaaagh! He whipped around to face Yugi and Anzu.

"Oh, and one more thing," Kaiba started politely.

"Yes" Yugi and Anzu answered in unison, causing them to blush and giggle.

"Get out of my building!" Kaiba bellowed at the top of his lungs, before stalking off again. All the high-tech lights, made to look like chadelliers, shook and rattled from the noise.

"Remind me not to visit Kaiba again, for um... a year or so, please." Yugi told Anzu, who nodded vehemently as they ran full speed out of the building.

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So, that's it. Read, Review all that good stuff. And any questions, comments, concerns, or suggestions are welcome. Especialy suggestions of where you think Yami should go next, and with whom.

Syanara for now!

-Kit


	2. Into the Inu

Hi! Sorry about the long delay on updating, but more is going to be trickling in as I think it up, and collaborate with my friend. This fic is on semi-hold while I work on Cultural Exchange and The Most Deadly Poisons.

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Well, Yami, the indomitable fool, had got it into his head to challenge Ryou to a duel. He had hoped to get Bakura to come out and give him tips on shadow realm travel.

Just about anyone can see what a wonderful time they were going to have.

Upon entering Ryou's house, after proclaiming some loud and long-winded moral reasons for dueling Ryou, he dragged him over to the table and tied him to a chair. Very considerately, he left Ryou's hands untied to let him duel.

"Now, I will beat you, Bakura, and learn the secrets of the shadow realm!" Yami announced.

"I told you! He's not here anymore! Weren't you the one who banished him?" Ryou insisted.

"Yes, several times actually. But he must be back by now. He always comes back. He's kind of like a pigeon, actually." Yami pondered.

Bakura couldn't stand it any longer. In a brilliant flash, the millennium ring had appeared, and he had taken control of Ryou's body.

"I am not! In no way do I resemble a sky rat!" Bakura insisted.

"Yes you do. You keep coming back and back and back, no matter how many times you're gotten rid of. Actually, what you really resemble is one of those movies, that mighta been good the first time, but they make second and a third and a fourth, and it's like 'Aghhhh! It never ends!'. Kinda like Power Rangers. And Star Trek."

"No I don- you watch Power Rangers! Almighty king of games, winner of duelist kingdom, ancient pharaoh, watches Power Rangers!" Bakura exclaimed between gasps of laughter, while trying to not fall off his chair. Luckily, he was tied to it. It took a few minutes for him to be able to breathe without choking again, and by that time Yami was tomato red.

"Not very often..." he mumbled.

"How many have there been?" Bakura asked in rapid-fire trivia style.

"Mighty Morphing, Zeo, Turbo, In Space, Lost Galaxy, Lightspeed Rescue, Time Force, Wild Force, Ninja Storm, Dino Thunder, SPD. 1l series, X seasons in all." Yami fired right back before he was able to stop himself. This prompted Bakura into another laughing fit, this one so violent that he fell over, chair and all.

When he was able to breathe again, much to Yami's sorrow, he let out a string of cusses, so foul that the milk in the fridge went sour. Ryou would be upset when he came-to again. He then attempted to push or pull or contort himself into a proper and upright sitting position.

He failed.

He let out another string of cusses, this set so foul that it made Yami's hair stand on end. Yes, more so than usual. At this point, Yami was stifling laughter, which was making Bakura even more agitated. Suddenly Bakura had an epiphany. He pulled a knife from his sheath, cut the ropes, set up his chair, sat down, and threw his knife really hard at Yami, where it stuck all the way to the hilt in The Hair.

"Hey!" Yami exclaimed pointlessly, as he tugged on the knife hilt. But Yami's Super-Hold Sticky Gunky Goo™ hair gel stuck stubbornly, and refused to give the knife up.

"So, why shouldn't I kill you right now?" Bakura asked.

"Because it would be bad for the plotline?" Yami suggested. Bakura looked at him like he was crazy, and from Bakura that's something.

"Um... How about because we're in the middle of the duel?" He tried.

"Oh, yes. Let's make this more interesting. Let's take this to the-" Bakura was interrupted by a cheer of joy from Yami. He scowled.

"You're supposed to cower in fear when I say that. And what if I was going to say 'let's take this duel to the grocery store' rather than to the shadow realm, hmm? Would you still be so happy then?"

"Yeah, I need to pick up some eggs and milk and flour... oh and-"

"Just forget I ever asked" Bakura conceded with a sigh.

"So, let's get going. I'll do the honors." Yami announced.

"No, I will." Bakura said.

"Nu-uh."

"Uh-huh."

"Nu-uh."

"Just try it, pretty boy."

"I will, roach."

And so it happened that both Yami and Bakura tried to take the duel to the shadow realm at the same time.

Now, whosoever should stroll in at just that exact moment, but Marik.

"Hey, the door was open. I- Ohhh! Pretty sparkly bright shadow magic lights!" he practically squealed, making a beeline for the aforementioned 'pretty sparkly bright lights'.

Thus it happened that Marik got brought along for the ride.

Suddenly everyone felt like they were falling. At the same time Bakura and Yami were still fighting for control, and everyone felt like they were being ripped in half.

As abruptly as their decent began, it terminated with the sound of six bodies going thump in a small enclosed area. It was a dark and dank area, the floor coated with bones and the top open to the bright, blue sky.

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"Help! What in the name of seven Hades is going on?" Bakura heard what sounded like his voice, only coming from behind him. He whirled around, and came face to face with a softer, younger looking, green eyed, non-psychotic version of himself. And then he heard 'his' voice scream, but not alone, as it was accompanied by two other voices in the darkness. He marveled at how the voice could sound so like his own, and yet so... girly, undeniably girly. Well, soon the yelling got to grating on his ears, so he covered up the mouth of his duplicate. And he was immediately rewarded with a bitten hand to cradle.

"I'm bleeding!" He cried out.

"Serves you right, covering up a body's mouth like that. You were like to suffocate me!" The him-not-him exclaimed.

-You would've deserved to be strangled, the horrendous screeching you were making. - Bakura thought.

"Hey! I heard that! You're a horrible person, you know that? And in case you hadn't noticed yet, I'm not just 'that thing' or 'your duplicate'. I'm Ryou, you know, the poor bum whose body you snitched to hitch a ride in for some twisted revenge? Remember? And I most certainly do not screech."

"You most certainly do. My ears have the evidence still. It's a wonder they're not bleeding. And of course I remember you, how could I forget you, my pesky host?" Bakura said, while thinking -Oh, yeah thaaaaats who he is. No wonder he looks like me. I wonder if he has anything good to steal.-

-I wish he wouldn't think one thing and say another. He's so bothersome. - Ryou thought.

"I do not!" Bakura indignantly protested.

"Don't what?"

"Think one thing and say another."

"I never said that."

"Wait, how would you know I was..."

The whole situation was pretty neatly summed up by a single thought that they both had simultaneously.

-Uh-oh...-

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"Um... Yugi, you can stop screaming any time now. Preferably while we still have some sense of hearing left." Yami tried to calmly state, while wondering just how much longer Yugi could go on screaming without taking a breath, before asphyxiating. He had already turned a sickly aqua in the pale light filtering down from far above. The color was totally clashing with his hair.

"Oh. Sorry... Wait a moment! Yami! What the is going on!" Yugi had abruptly stopped screaming at the sound of Yami's voice, a real, physical sound wave voice, unlike usual.

-I haven't the foggiest. - Yami thought glumly. -And this sure isn't the shadow realm. - But he had to put on a strong front for his lighter side.

"We are right here... in some room place thing in separate corporeal bodies." He said with strong positive conviction, as if what he just said was the results he had set out to achieve.

"Do you always do that?" Yugi asked with confusion.

"Do what?"

"Pretend you know what's going on, when you're just as in the dark as everyone else."

"I do n-" Yami cut off, realizing he had just a moment ago committed said crime.

-Well... maybe every now and then. But it's for everyone's own good. A leader has to be strong for his people.-

"It's all your fault that this isn't the shadow realm. And if you weren't a good leader back then, how do you expect to be one now?" Bakura interjected.

"Yes I was." Yami protested.

"I know it was you whose fault it is this isn't the shadow realm." Bakura batted back with a chuckle.

"No it wasn't!"

"I know it wasn't good for you to be a leader back then." Bakura returned, his good mood growing with the sound of Yami's sour growling.

"Better control your 'vicious beast' before he hurts someone." Bakura addressed at Yugi.

"Yeah, namely you." Ryou said as he entered the 'conversation'. But, Bakura was not yet finished taunting the irate ancient teenage ruler. He made like he was turning away, then turned and twisted right up into Yami's face.

"You know, the psychotic blonde mind controller who created his own split personality would have been a better ruler than you. You should have let him, no, helped him take over the world. It would have been the least you could do to make up for..." Bakura faded off for a moment as his eyes glazed over with memory. "Bloody hypocrite." He finished, spitting on the floor at Yami's feet. When he saw the twisted pained and emotional look on the pharaoh's face, he laughed with his insane laughter echoing and ricocheting off the close walls of their enclosure and filling everyone's ears. Ryou and Yugi simultaneously shivered. Then Yugi returned to comforting Yami, and Ryou drew off Bakura to the side, and was trying to soothe him just by being there, by listening.

Just when most of the vestiges of chaos had dissipated, the sky started falling.

Or rather, someone fell out of the sky. Bakura heard the swoosh of displaced air, and flip-rolled into a standing position just in time to catch her before she hit the bottom of the well. Bakura put on his best dark-and-mysterious-stranger-charmer look.

"Hi." He stated simply. The girl looked around at all of them, then back to Bakura.

"Hi." she replied weakly, before promptly fainting.

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Ta-da! This will be a two parter section, if I don't have too much to put in one chapter to finish it up.

Thanks for tuning in, see you later!

-Kit


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